You are invited to the Independence Day Party!
Come eat pie in the country, drink lemonade, see old men perform amazing acts of beauty.
Where: 12233 K-92 Hwy. It is about 4 miles west of Oskaloosa, or 5 miles east of Ozawkie, on the south side of the highway. Look for the flag on the mailbox. If you need more directions email me firstname.lastname@example.org or call at 785 863 2615.
When: July 4th, 2000. 1:00pm until dark. After sunset there will be a humdinger fireworks display at Perry Lake.
From 1:00pm until 5:00pm we will sit in the shade and watch the children play. There will be music - Bill Garrison has agreed to play again this year - and other amusements.
The Big Show starts at about 5:00pm with the ladies selecting a Mr. Sweetheart 2000, Mr. Raw Potential, the Most Beautiful Man 2000, and the winners of Best Costumes for Child, Man, and Woman and Most Patriotic Costume.
Finally, the Pie judging will begin. Awards will be given this year for World Champion Pie Baker, Most Erotic Pie, Pelican Pie, Prettiest Pie, Most Natural Pie, Most Patriotic Pie, and best pie made by a child.
After the judgingWE CAN ALL EAT PIE. Also, there will be goat and some other strange meats cooking over the fire.
What to bring: a plate and fork (we'll have plastic ones available), an insect repellent, sun screen, soft drinks (bring some extra to share with children ), a blanket to sit upon, a pie if you wish, either for the contest or just to share, and a bar of soap. Usually, some people bring salads, some bring bread, and everybody brings an appetite. There is always enough food, but never too many friends. It's more important to bring a friend than to bring food. If you bring food, try to bring along a cooler or someplace to store it. There will be some refrigerator and freezer space available, but it's limited.
Poison Ivy: Children running around are bound to get into Poison Ivy and so will many adults. The active substance is an oil and the longer you leave it on the more likely it is to cause blistering. Water alone won't wash it off, but soap and water will. That's why I suggested a bar of soap. If you don't get into the Poison Ivy, carve the soap into something neat and give it to someone you meet at the party.
Pets: There will be ducks, chickens, cats, goats, and small children running loose. Use your own judgement.
Garbage and trash: Chickens classify almost anything organic as edible, so all the garbage can go into the chicken yard. There will be barrels around for trash. Cigarette smokers please pick up discarded filter tips.
Admire Beautiful Men, eat pie, and celebrate our Independence